Job loss is a fact of life. Everyone, at some point, experiences some form of job loss, a painful and emotional experience. What makes it different is how you deal with it. I have done a lot of coaching work in this area, from individual performers to senior executives. You can and will survive this. Here are some thoughts I wrote recently for the Detroit News.
Job loss – scary words any time, frightening words around here right now (Detroit). No matter whether it is something you choose due to a life situation or it is foisted upon you, the prospect of being without work generates a lot of painful emotions. The key is to not get stuck in the fear, which can paralyze you.
Everyone generally knows what to do when faced with a job search: get your resume in order, confirm your references, create your networking list, tell everyone you know what kind of job you are looking for, hone your interviewing skills and be prepared to respond to every opportunity you hear about. These are the basics, but there are some additional steps you can take to get more from this life experience.
When one door closes another opens – Consider whether this job loss is really life knocking. Is it time to reconsider what you are doing? Is this the work you want to spend the rest of your life or at least the next 5 years doing? This disruption can provide the pause to reexamine your interests, skills, talents and dreams, as well as how work will fit into your lifestyle.
Create a support group – Everyone needs someone to talk to about how they are feeling and to help keep the positive energy flowing. Enlist a couple of people to be your job search “board of directors.” They need to be willing to listen to you, offer suggestions and possibly contacts, help keep your morale up and be honest with you when you are wallowing in discouragement.
Do something special for yourself – While your job search needs to be a fulltime job. Identify something that you have always wanted to do but have not had the time. I have seen people take classes to learn a new craft or dance, spend more quality time with someone important, volunteer for a special cause, or visit some local sites they have always wanted to see. Then when they look back at this time in their life they have some very special memories.
Consider this wisdom from the Buddhists. You only need three things in life: something to do, someone to love and something to hope for, so keep your job search in perspective.
This was my published advice for the Career Makeover article in the October 23, 2006 Detroit News. I have given these recommendations before but it is worth repeating. These are questions I would ask you if you came to me for coaching with the story, "I don't like my job and want a change." So what is stopping you?
You can go to website, beingatwork.com to see the full Career Makeover story.
What are you afraid of?
Changing career and jobs is scary. How many of us maintain the status quo because what we know is less frightening that what we don’t know? Our fears keep us stuck. One of my favorite quotes is, “Our fears are the dragons that hide our greatest gifts.” What gifts are you hiding because you are afraid and believe you “can’t”?
Why do we stay stuck in the wrong job?
Many individuals believe they cannot achieve their dreams because of what they feel they have to do. They believe they have “no choice”. This becomes an excuse and a self-made trap. You always are at choice. The sooner you realize that what you have to do is really what you have chosen to do, the sooner you reclaim your power and take responsibility for your situation. This includes what you believe about having the
”right stuff” such as an advanced degree or the right contacts or the freedom to make a change. I “have to….” becomes the excuse for not pursuing your dream.
Who will help?
There is a lot of help available but in reality it is up to you. No one is going to come tell you what to do or define you life purpose. No one is going to rescue you from your current job situation. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to move forward and ask for help. You have to discover what it will take to make a job move and then make plans to move forward. You have to find the people who will support you as you take this important step to realize your dream.
This was my published advise for Career Makeover Article in the October 9, 2006 Detroit News.
Go to my website, beingatwork.com to see the article entitled "The no-Dilbert zone"
What is your reaction to this story? Is it that this is something Dave Wassmann could do because of something unique for him or that his story provides some examples of what you might do to make your work life more meaningful? The opportunity is to look at his story and see the lessons and teachings and then translate them to the world you live in. Here are three career teachings from what Dave experienced.
1. Know when the game is over – Almost all of us reach a point when we know work is no longer fun, makes sense or brings us any type of joy. This is the time when you can choose to stick it out and make the best of it or take steps to go for something more meaningful and in alignments with who you are now. This is about making a choice rather than letting things just happen and hoping for the best.
2. Recognize what it means to be an entrepreneur – This can be an exciting route for individuals with a high energy level, commitment, vision and the financial means to support their needs until the business kicks in. Did you notice that Dave likes to create things? Do you? You also need to recognize whether you can work independently and understand that it all comes from you. It can be rewarding but it is high risk. You have to be willing and able to fail to win as an entrepreneur.
3. Understand your “cultural fit” – What work environments are best for you? Have you identified your values, recognized your work style and understand the types of work relationships you need to have to enjoy your work. Of all the culture issues, values are ultimately the big one. What is important to you and where are you unwilling to compromise? This issue is worth spending time on.
Every couple of weeks I am asked by the Personal Financial Editor for the Detroit News, Brian O'Connor, to add career tips to a story he has written about someone's career makeover. These tips are published in the paper and also appear on the Detroit News website. You can read the articles on my website, beingatwork.com. These were my tips for the article dated Monday, August 28, 2006. The story was titled, "Airline pilot also lands home sales." This is the story about a pilot for Northwest Airlines who saw the "writing on the wall" and made a career move into real estate.
My Tips
This is the real deal. Larry’s story is about waking up to the realities of an industry or business in decline and getting into action. So why do most of us wait until we are pushed because our job is gone? One thing that stops all of us is fear, fear of failing, fear of not being valued, fear of not being good enough, etc. etc.. To move forward, start by thinking of your fear as a helpmate and guide to show you what you need to do.
1. Acknowledge your fears – What worries you about your current situation and what do you fear for the future? Are these fears reasonable? Look at your past work experience to find the evidence. Either the fear is real, for example your skill set is not up-to-date for your profession, or it is not real in that you feel you cannot learn a new trade or start a new career even though you’ve done it before. Look at your fears as a combination of belief and imagination and test the validity.
2. Deal with the real issues – Start taking steps now to resolve whatever your fear is warning you. If your company is in a downward spiral and you fear job cutbacks, get ready now and start your job search. If your profession is going the way of buggy whips begin a process to identify your next career. What do you like to do and do well? What skills can you take from your current career and build into the next. Talk to people who are doing what you would like to do and identify and start filling your gaps.
3. Create a support system – You don’t need to do this on your own. Identify individuals you can talk to and share your fears. This can be a combination of friends as well as professional help. You are looking for people who can encourage you when you are down and celebrate with each success. These are individuals who can keep you on track and hold you accountable to yourself and your goals. We all need help in dealing with our reasonable as well as unreasonable fears.
I am just back from 10 days in Japan. This trip was part of a commitment I made to my nephew when he was a little boy to take him any place in the world he wanted to go when he turned 16. I expected the trip would be his introduction to the larger world. I did not expect that it would remind me that it is a lot easier to give advice than to follow it.
In my coaching practice I have worked with clients regarding problems that can develop around expectations. In this case I am referring to our expectations on how others should act or perform their jobs or respond to situations or just “be” at work. An early example from my leadership career involved a woman employee who I was very high on. I felt she demonstrated good leadership instincts and she was very dedicated to her job. Translation: she worked hard and put in long hours to get the work done, which was clearly my personal bias and style.
My expectation was that she would want to advance her career and take on more responsibility and work. Since I never inquired whether this was her goal or interest I was operating from my view of the world, looking at it through my “lenses.” Ultimately I nearly burned her out and learned the lesson that what I want may not be what others want.
So for my trip to Japan I told myself I had no expectations of my nephew or the trip, that it would be whatever way it was going to be. I now can’t believe I believed this! We always have expectations, silent or voiced. My expectations on how he was going to behave were dashed almost immediately and until I was honest with myself, took a hard look at my expectations and worked to get past them, the trip was pretty rocky.
The good news is that when I truly abandon my expectations and let him be they way he wanted to be (and didn’t create a story about it) the trip was smoother and much more enjoyable. I had a great time and it was wonderful to get to know my nephew better and myself.
Embarrassed, chagrined, guilty, all of these emotions and then some dear blog as I have not written you in too many weeks. I have even started waking up nights with anxiety attacks over not making contact.
Now many people may wonder why would I have so much angst about my blog. It is because I made a commitment to myself as well as to others that I would keep this up. And then life and work got in the way. So what are the lessons?
Guilt – I should have done this sooner. I should not have made other things a priority. I should schedule my time better. I should, I should, I should, so many shoulds.
Priorities – I clearly made other things a priority. Did I pick the right things? Did I actually prioritize or just do what I felt like and procrastinated on those things I was not motivated to do?
Trust – This is the best one because I keep being taught that if I would just let go of the guilt, of the believe that I can control myself and the world and make things happen when I want and know that everything happens in its time.
I had a wonderful example of this the other day. I was procrastinating on getting the planning done for an upcoming trip, including changes to my flight. When I finally got down to it, my timing was perfect and I ended up saving some money because of airfare reductions. I continually see this happening that my "procrastination" actually worked out for the best. And yet I can’t seem to help myself feeling guilty and stressing over the delay. Maybe someday I really will learn this lesson!
Do you dream about switching careers? Do stories about what other people do interest you? Do you find yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to do their job or wishing it was your job?
I have switch careers and I have worked with people who believe that their life would be so much better if they could switch careers. Since the survey by The Conference Board, which I wrote about in an earlier posting, found that only half of all Americans say they are satisfied with their jobs, I would suspect that a lot of people out there are fantasizing about a new career or job. So what do you do?
My recommendation to my clients is to begin with recognizing what it is about your current career or job that is not working for you? Sometimes it is not the work itself but the circumstances around it. When it is the career we work to understand if there are any aspects of it that are salvageable and transferable. We also look to what shows up (patterns) in the stories they write about their life experiences for clues to what they really want to do. This is ultimately the hardest part. How many times have you heard “I don’t like what I am doing but don’t know what else I want to do”? With an understanding of what you want and a desire and plan to get there, you can successfully switch careers.
I just read an interview of Jack Welch in Newsweek and an excerpt of his new book, “Winning”.
As a leadership coach, I have read a great number of books on leadership and so my attitude was what new ideas or thoughts could Welch have?
One of the interesting pieces was his discussion of work-life balance. Acknowledging that he is a model for “do as I say, not as I did”, I was not surprised that to get to this realization he needed to be in the last half of his life and very much in love with his new wife. For many of us career driven individuals, it takes years and wisdom and sometimes a significant emotional event to realize what is important. I see this over and over again with my clients and am pleasantly surprised that Welch got there as well. But his advice was less than satisfying and I quote, “Of course he [your boss] wants you to be happy, but only inasmuch as it helps the company win. In fact, if he is doing his job right, he is making your job so exciting that your personal life becomes a less compelling draw.” This struck me as an example of how he operated in his life and contradictory to his new insight.
What I have seen is that leaders who have a good work-life balance are happier and are better leaders. They seem to bring more caring to their organizations and people and inspire their employees. I wish I had realized this sooner.
Some number of years ago I made to decision to leave my executive position and explore other worlds. It was not an easy decision. I was leaving a position that paid extremely well. I worked with people I genuinely enjoyed. I liked the company, EDS, and was successful in my career there. But something started shifting for me and I no longer liked coming to work. I knew this was a warning sign I needed to heed.
I revisited that decision last evening at an EDS 20 year anniversary party for an employee who started his leadership career in my organization. As I was catching up with people, I started thinking about what it would have been like for me had I stayed. I probably would be making more money. But other than that, I could come up with no other reason to second-guess my decision. I doubt if my career would have flourished since I wasn’t enjoying myself and therefore wouldn’t have put my all into it. My attitude would have shown in my performance and motivation, it always does. I would also have had to deal with all the cutbacks, layoffs, salary freezes and changes EDS has gone through to survive.
So, after a brief sojourn into the “what if”, I was clear that I did the right thing both for me and for the employees I would have lead half-heartedly. I would not want my Leadership Legacy to be about either a second rate performance or reductions. It was more fun for me to hear that people still thought of me as a wonderful leader who had a powerful and significant impact on their careers.