Embarrassed, chagrined, guilty, all of these emotions and then some dear blog as I have not written you in too many weeks. I have even started waking up nights with anxiety attacks over not making contact.
Now many people may wonder why would I have so much angst about my blog. It is because I made a commitment to myself as well as to others that I would keep this up. And then life and work got in the way. So what are the lessons?
Guilt – I should have done this sooner. I should not have made other things a priority. I should schedule my time better. I should, I should, I should, so many shoulds.
Priorities – I clearly made other things a priority. Did I pick the right things? Did I actually prioritize or just do what I felt like and procrastinated on those things I was not motivated to do?
Trust – This is the best one because I keep being taught that if I would just let go of the guilt, of the believe that I can control myself and the world and make things happen when I want and know that everything happens in its time.
I had a wonderful example of this the other day. I was procrastinating on getting the planning done for an upcoming trip, including changes to my flight. When I finally got down to it, my timing was perfect and I ended up saving some money because of airfare reductions. I continually see this happening that my "procrastination" actually worked out for the best. And yet I can’t seem to help myself feeling guilty and stressing over the delay. Maybe someday I really will learn this lesson!
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